Hi again,
Someone asked about aftercare and I would like to tell you about a couple of my experiences.
Subdrop is usually no fun. Sometimes it happens right away, and sometimes it happens days later. The thing that I find that helps the most in communicating with Poppie so he knows how to help me.
An episode where I dropped right away, even while we were still in the scene, scared us both. We were progressing nicely, ramping up to go over the edge when I was completely overcome with emotion and began sobbing. Huge crocodile tears and everything. Poppie immediately stopped and wrapped me up in a big comforting hug and just whispered comforting things while all I could do was blubber and speak incoherently. It was a full minute before I could even let him know I was ok. Another 2 minutes before we could continue. I was feeling the enormity of the moment. All the love and devotion from this beautiful Poppie to listen to me, care what I had to say, and then carry out just what I needed. It was the single most beautiful moment in my life. To feel the love and devotion pouring from him and the care and concern he was immediately willing to give was more than I could bear. I needed more aftercare than normal that night. He stayed next to me, always making sure some part of him was touching some part of me. The worry and concern showing in his eyes and him checking on me frequently until I finally fell asleep. Just what I needed to help me through that drop.
Typically when I experience a drop is 1-2 days after the scene. This is when I feel the absence of Poppie the strongest. What I need is snuggles and reassurance that he still cares deeply for me, and that all that I crave from him is normal. That he loves it as much as he loves me, and that he enjoys being my Poppie. It is very easy for me to express my feelings in words. He struggles a little in this department as he feels if he says it, even once a month ago, that it is still true today. While I in no way have to wait a month to hear it, lol, I crave it often and much more after an intense session. I find once again, that communication is key. No matter how silly, or how embarrassed I feel, I know that I have to tell him what I need so that I can process all the emotions I am feeling. Poppie is more than happy to oblige.
Again, these are my experiences. Everyone is different. The best advice I could give is to listen to your heart and follow it. Tell your partner what you need, and if they are unable to provide it, sometimes you need to do self-care. Stay tuned in to your emotions and be kind to yourself.
Hope this helps
-naughti
I recently met a dominant. We are still in the communication phase, however, I am more and more interested in this type of relationship. He said he wants to offer security and to make me feel like a woman and nothing less, however, he will control every aspect of my life. This to me is a turn on. My concern is, I have two small little girls, do you think this could be a good environment for them? I’m going to spend a weekend so we can fill each other out. If we have a good connection we then will eventually live together and then marry. What are your thoughts about this?
This can be a tough situation and one in which you have more to care for than just your needs. It is our belief that both parties in a relationship are equals, and this means that both people in the relationship have equal stake and mutually agree to decisions. This is something that would be great to model for your children, in my opinion. Now when it comes to a dom/sub relationship, this can be done very carefully and still maintain equality. For example in our house we make many decisions jointly with discussion, but when needed and especially during “fun” time the roles are played out as we have agreed. I think the key here is that your children understand that relationships are partnerships and both partners agree to their roles and that roles often change and evolve will provide a solid foundation for their growth.
it is important too, that when bringing in a partner into a child’s life, they take an active role and one that is not a similar role that they have with the parent. Meaning the relationship that you agree to with your partner does not default into the same relationship with the children. Because you agree to be the sub doesn’t mean the same for your children. The relationship that both of you need to maintain with your children is one of love, support and nurturing.
That is beautiful. My Poppy always made sure to snuggle with me after. He doesn’t understand the enormity of being a Daddy or a Dom. He left me alone threw me away yesterday and I’m lost. I don’t know what I did. He said he wants to be with other women multiple women and all I can do is cry. I can’t even function. He broke my heart and threw my trust away. Now he wants to make other subs. He is new to the Dom role and after using me for over a year he just up and said I want to see other women. A Daddy is not supposed to abandon his little. I am scared and lost and I miss my Poppy
I honestly can say I had a break down for no reason . I lay in his arms and suddenly I was feeling better. He just held me against his chest and I just fell asleep.
I had my 1st ever emotional break down a couple weeks ago. I’ve never been with someone that truely cared about my whole body as a whole before (I’ve spend to much time on selfish little boys) and for the 1st time I experienced what my body was truely capible of. (An amazing, overwhelming, emotional orgasm that was just for me!!!) My whole body felt like it was brought to the edge of a cliff and I finally jumped, but he was waiting for me at the bottom. He had said, “I’ve got you” before, but I finally let go and he really did have me. Maybe it was a combination of finally putting all my trust in his hands, or experiencing something new, or not relaxing my body could feel like that, or all of the above. But as I sobbed in his arms he told me how truly lovely and amazing I was. ❤