Just like any relationship, Daddy’s Lil Girl can bring confusion and frustration. This can be especially challenging when your little is unable to communicate their needs. I have often found with Naughti, that what she means is not exactly what she is saying, and this can lead us down paths to nowhere. This can be frustrating as it seems at times that we have the same serious discussions, with similar end points, but in reality we only drove around the block and ended up in the same spot we began.
Communication is key to mainstream and alternative relationships
It is extremely important to understand that often times littles will communicate as a child in a grown ups body. It is often through non-verbal communication or tantrums in which you will find the true communication. This can be frustrating because what is being said, may not be what is meant to be said. This can cause hurt feelings and can even bring about questions of the relationship altogether. Whenever you get into a serious discussion, the emotions and stakes reach a level that may bring out the self-protective nature of your li’l girl. This is when I like to use the Stop Light approach to communication.
Red, Yellow, Green, ways to visually depict effective communication
When entering serious conversations, or when emotions are high, you will want to visualize a stoplight. As you enter the conversation, you are really entering an intersection and you need to make sure that it is safe to continue. Imagine the light is red and you need to make sure that each person understands the other before moving on. Once a common understanding is made then you can continue down the path of discussion. (the light is green). However, you will always want to keep an eye out for increased emotions, and as emotions or stakes rise in the conversation, you will want to visualize the light turning yellow and slow the conversation down to make sure that everyone is on the same page.
Going into serious conversations? Make sure you make the environment safe.
Given this, it is important that when you need to have a serious talk with your little, that you make the environment safe and free of negative distractions or the typcial fondness of the dominant/submissive relationship that exists. It is important to look at the situation with an outlook of win/win, and not a situation that would cause one party to be on the losing end of the stick. Even when a sub or your lil, may typically like to be giving up for their dom. IT IS IMPERATIVE, that they understand the discussion and that they have a say in the decision. They also need to understand that their ideas may not be followed, but they need to know that they are considered in good faith, and if you can’t explain this process to your little, then you may not be giving a good faith effort to begin with.