Welcome to the first post of which is likely to be a popular segment on our blog. Our page has become much more busy and popular than expected and we get emailed questions pretty regularly. We will take those questions (anonymously) and share our answers in an effort to help others in the same situation.
I need help. I just “came out” to my boyfriend that I love the daddy-baby girl relationship and he accepted it. He is now my daddy but does not fully understand what it is or comfortable being my daddy all the time but wants to and I don’t know how to get him fully comfortable and know what to do. Can you please help me and my daddy?
Congratulations on “coming out” and having this discussion with your boyfriend. It is great that your boyfriend has embraced your lifestyle choice and is giving some effort in being your dominant. We hope that this will continue as you grow in your relationship.
To be honest, I (Poppie) have trouble with this on occasion as well with Naughti. We have grown in this dynamic over the years, yet still Naughti is a grown woman, who is intelligent and independent as well. I am respectful and like to take other’s opinions into consideration. So I like input and feedback. So I will regularly ask lots of questions and sometimes that can be seen as not so daddy like. She really appreciates not having to be decisive all the time, and in most instances would prefer for me to make the decisions about most everything. So when I ask her questions, this actually stresses her out and and can stress the dynamic. That may or may not be the case in this situation.
Ways to help
So in offering some help in this, I will take this background into the situation. It is very likely that your boyfriend is respectful and doesn’t want to upset you by being overly dominant. So just as Naughti does for me, you can reassure him that you are giving him the permission to be dominant, or make the decisions. Being new into this dynamic, you may need to reassure on the regular.
Another option to use would be to offer, “I want you to be “daddy” and dominant in these areas… and give the areas that you really would prefer for your boyfriend to take care of. You could even add, “I want you to be dominant in every area and I will let you know if you are going too far.” This will give some clear guidelines for your boyfriend and help him be more comfortable in his role.
You have shared with him, and you have shown that you trust him implicitly, and it is very likely that he does not want to ruin your trust by going overboard. Like many relationship advice, having regular ongoing honest conversations will be a great start to building trust and understanding each other in these roles.