What is a Daddy Dom?

what is a daddy dom?What is a daddy dom?  This single question is why we started this site.  A Daddy Dom is a slight variation from a traditional dominant in a dominant/submissive relationship in that they must consider their subs inner child dynamic.    A typical top/bottom or dom/sub relationship has is based upon a relationship in which the sub will give total control and decision making to their dominant.   There are a huge number of scenarios that can play out in these relationships, but in most of them the submissive will ask for a variety of controls, punishments, rewards and work at the beck and call of their master.   There can be BDSM, service, humiliation, and degradation that goes along with these typical relationships.  This typical relationship is most famously outlined in the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy.

Daddy Doms have a similar role with their “baby girls” or “l’ils” with some twists.  Daddy Doms are usually in full control of their li’l, but also have to take care of the social and emotional well being of their baby girl since their sub is in a slightly different mind space than traditional subs.  Daddy Doms will work within a series of rewards, rules, disciplines, and consequences with the mind set of their li’l considered.   A typical Dominant will defer to typical BDSM punishments, bondage, paddles, humiliation etc.   Many of these punishments will not work with a li’l and often times will only aggravate the situation.     We will be putting together an article in the future on li’l specific punishments.

Daddy Doms spoil the heck out of their li’l

Another significant indication of a Daddy Dom is that they will spoil the heck out of their li’l.  While this should be the expectation of everyone in a relationship, this is usually taken over-board in by Daddy-Doms.   Daddy’s will know exactly what their li’ls love, and will provide surprises and presents on a pretty regular basis. (Just like father’s do with their children).   Often times these rewards are things that kids love, Teddy Bears, Pajamas, Pretty Candy, and Toys.

Another one of the most identifying characteristics of a Daddy Dom is the close oversight over their li’l in most aspects of their life.  They are their protector and will keep their li’l out of trouble.  They will often provide oversight of friendships and social encounters.   They will also be somewhat possessive and ensure that their li’l is protected from the evils of the world.    In my case I will also help facilitate things like “play dates” and make sure that my li’l gets along with her friends.    It is common for Li’ls to be very jealous of other girls around their Daddy’s and they will act out in a variety of ways.   Daddy’s need to make it very clear to their li’ls how important they are to them and must earn the trust of their partner.

Shame on Daddy’s that abuse their Li’l

Once Littles trust their Daddies, bad Daddies will abuse this trust and take advantage of their li’ls this is some of the worst things I can think of and will cause significant harm to the long term well being of your li’l.   Unfortunately I have heard more of these stories than positive stories.  This is one of the reasons we have decided to move forward with developing this site.    Now given honesty and transparency in this and any relationship can lead to a variety of play adventures.     I have found that li’ls are very adventurous and enjoy a wide variety of experiences, with the caveat that they are safe and have no worries about losing their daddies.    (We will explore the world of sissy’s in a future article)


Let us know what you would like to see here,  email us at poppie@naughtilil.com



  1. Hissweetheart says

    Okay I will try to keep this short. I’ve been in this dynamic for a while with One who is now my husband of a year. I had no idea what the name of this type of relationship was until I started exploring on my new tablet, and truthfully I never really knew what was wrong with me until recently…
    I’m trying not to say “wrong” with me but this is all very new. Anyways, I have always been very controlling when given the chance and also i have a strong tendency to run away from relationships far sooner then most so that I don’t have to experience the pain of being left. Consequently I have never been left in a relationship but I have had a few bad ones… abusive and such.
    Anyways I am now with a wonderful man and we are exploring many things that I have never experienced including BDSM. My question is kind of a strange one and I don’t even know how to word it or get it out I will try. Actually I have a million questions but this one is burning a hole through my mind right now.
    In my current relationship I have try to grab the reins and I have done so quite well at times but after we started experimenting and I “subbed” to my husband… I don’t think that is quite the right way to say that anyways… He has been stepping up his dominant tendencies. And I am having a very confusing time dealing with it.
    He is always been my older anchor, my rock, my teacher, my protector but he has never really in my, for lack of a better word “boss”. Well last night, it’d been awhile since we had played… And my wonderful husband was teasing me…
    As he does often enough recently but then fell asleep on my chest. I woke Him up a few times with his name, and he just repeated it sarcastically back to me with a little pathetic wimper he must of thought I had… And fell back asleep.
    So I stormed out of the room and told him to have a great time breastfeeding our son. And to my surprise this time he did not follow me and when I came back I told them I was going out to get a pack of smokes which I haven’t used in a long time cause he hates it…. He then told me not to be mad at Daddy ” a word he only recently started using” and hugged me… But I continue to put my pants on I get ready to leave. This apparently did not go over because he proceeded to put me on the floor and sit on me. : (( it didn’t really hurt just couldn’t move, then he moved me into the bathroom and proceeded to scold me harshly. Long story short he made it very clear you was not happy and that I can’t storm out of the room just because I don’t get what I want the second I want it. This is hard because we went for a very long time without being intimate at all.. And since we just started playing with all the wonders of BDSM… I find myself very very very very addicted to his presence. So much so it kind of makes me sick during the day when he’s gone. Soooo..
    My question is, it normal to be completely consumed with your Daddy to the point that i am… It may not help that I have no friends where we live yet, …
    Also should I have just begged or asked to play which feels wrong for me especially since I’m so shy…
    Also and this is the one I’m really dealing with right now,
    Is it normal to feel very confused after your partner first becomes dominant, because I feel that I want this but at the same time it leaves me very shaken, and even more needy.
    Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks.

    • says

      This dynamic is very consuming as you have found, and this can be very normal and fulfilling. In my mind the important thing is the fulfilling must be considered by both partners and you need to communicate through your experimentation. With my and my l’ils relationship, I have to get after her on some occasions and that is what she is expecting. She wants to make sure that I still am committed enough to get after her.

      One important element is that you need to establish clear boundaries or hard limits and discuss how you will be able to explain when you have had enough. It is common to determine safe words or phrases that lead out of “play time” and back into reality. I am sure that Naughti, will chime in as well.


    • says

      Yes yes and yes. You could have described me to a T. I find myself not wanting to displease him. But I think way down deep it is because I know he would do the same for me. Remember communication is key. Tell him as best as you can how you are feeling. Good luck. Keep me posted on your journey.

  2. timid_mouse says

    What do you do when you learn that “Daddy” really isnt? When you read articles like these and your heart breaks with longing? When you’ve been drawn in and pretty well trapped?

  3. Josh Mills says

    So, I started dating this amazing woman who had changed my outlook on relationships. Most of my relationships were always about me doing whatever I ha to do to ensure the woman wouldn’t leave, and this one is the complete opposite. As we are getting to know each other, she has told me she is into BDSM, and has shown me things I actually didnt know even existed in a sexual relationship, as I have always been a traditionalist in my ways. Last night, she showed me that she wants a Daddy Dom/ Little type of relationship. Until last night, I had never even heard of it. She showed me a few websites, and tried to explain it to me, but was having a difficult time explaining it. After looking at these websites, I’m even more confused on how this type of relationship style works. I have always had the thought that a relationship is supposed to be a nuturing, loving partnership where both parties show an active interest and work together to attain common goals, such as raising children (which she has one, and I have two myself, which I love to death.) With this style of relationship, I’m confused on how this works, and what the complete role of a Daddy Dom is supposed to be. I don’t want to change the dynamics of our relationship to the point where only my opinion counts, because as a human being, I know I am going to be wrong at times. So, if someone can explain how this relationship style works, and what are some tips for someone just starting in this style, I would be forever grateful. This woman means the world to me, and has even wanted to show interest in the things I enjoy (movies, comics, science fiction, stuff like that) so I think it is only right and fair that I show an active interest in something she is passionate about.

    • says

      For me, I don’t want him to make all the decisions. We are and always will be a partnership. That being said, when I am lil I defer my decisions to him. I trust him to make the best choice for us. When I am in lil mode and he needs my input he tells me I need to know what you think. I can still be lil but give him my wants/needs and he can make the decision.
      It honestly comes down to communication. Maybe she doesn’t want you to make the decision. She will give you some guidance in what she needs. We are constantly looking at our dynamic and tweeking it to make it the best possible solution for us.
      Kids are kids. We are equals in their eyes. We don’t hide it from them but we don’t act like Dom and lil in their presence either. You gotta remember that the kids are most important to us. We don’t do anything that would distort their world. But for us we have found a happy middle. Good luck and remember communication is key.

    • says

      Me and Poppie have a partnership. He isn’t my boss. More like my conscience. Always steering me in the right direction when I stray from the path I want to be on. It is about me making him happy by fulfilling my hopes and dreams. At least that is how it works for us.
      Communication is key. Ask her what she wants/needs. We have constant communication and reflection on us and are always trying to make it better.
      Kids are our world. We do not do anything that would harm them. We are equals in their eyes.
      Good luck!


Leave a Reply