Dominant Submissive Relationships and Why They Work
There are many angles to a dominant submissive relationship. Whether you are looking at a daddy dom relationship, a sub/dom relationship, or some variation like 50’s lifestyle relationships, they all rely on one factor, the responsibility to love and obey. I was recently talking about this subject with a relationship counselor and that is when my friend shared this tidbit of information, “The most basic meaning of love is to obey.” Think about this for a minute and it is hard to argue, intact, I love to argue and I am not sure I can come up with a logical argument as to how this isn’t true.
To Love is to Obey, and this is where dominant and submissive relationships excel
Alternative relationships like daddy dom or traditional dominant relationships have a foundation in respect and the clearly defined responsibilities of obedience. This is exactly why these relationships seem to last and excel. While the mainstream puritan ideology of the States make it seem like these relationships are not ideal, all of the stable long term relationships that I know of have some defined level of responsibilities. Most of them would be considered “alternative” and have a heightened element of “kink” to them.
Now as we look at failed relationships, of any kind, you will find that one or both parties in the relationship either do not have an agreement, or do not abide by there agreement. This is where the term obey originates. If you truly love someone, you will have clearly defined relationship that you agree with whole heartedly agree and abide by. You will not violate their trust or your agreement in your relationship. As soon as you give up, you disobey and by rule violate your love for your partner.
Alternative Relationships have this nailed!
In your typical Dom/sub relationship, you not only have clearly defined roles, the obedience is also built into the relationship as well. When one of the partners fails to follow through with their agreements, or disobey they have clearly outlined punishments. Often times these are alternative to natural consequences. Meaning in a traditional relationship, the natural consequence of failed obedience is broken trust and passive aggressive dance involving charades and a lack of communication. (not what good relationships are made of) Where the natural consequences in a dominant submissive relationship will be the specifically agreed upon punishment and discussion.
To Obey is to Love
The bottom line is that to love is to obey. Whether you choose to be a bottom, submissive or a little you chooses to obey your top, dominant or daddy. You do so because you have the utmost love, AND they have shown that they also OBEY your wishes and showing true love for you in return. This true love and obedience is why these relationships are strong, last forever and are the envy of all of your friends.
Am I a dominant or submissive? take the dominant submissive test here. (a fun quick test that might give you some insight)
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