Someone asked about aftercare and I would like to tell you about a couple of my experiences.
Subdrop is usually no fun. Sometimes it happens right away, and sometimes it happens days later. The thing that I find that helps the most in communicating with Poppie so he knows how to help me.
An episode where I dropped right away, even while we were still in the scene, scared us both. We were progressing nicely, ramping up to go over the edge when I was completely overcome with emotion and began sobbing. Huge crocodile tears and everything. Poppie immediately stopped and wrapped me up in a big comforting hug and just whispered comforting things while all I could do was blubber and speak incoherently. It was a full minute before I could even let him know I was ok. Another 2 minutes before we could continue. I was feeling the enormity of the moment. All the love and devotion from this beautiful Poppie to listen to me, care what I had to say, and then carry out just what I needed. It was the single most beautiful moment in my life. To feel the love and devotion pouring from him and the care and concern he was immediately willing to give was more than I could bear. I needed more aftercare than normal that night. He stayed next to me, always making sure some part of him was touching some part of me. The worry and concern showing in his eyes and him checking on me frequently until I finally fell asleep. Just what I needed to help me through that drop.
Typically when I experience a drop is 1-2 days after the scene. This is when I feel the absence of Poppie the strongest. What I need is snuggles and reassurance that he still cares deeply for me, and that all that I crave from him is normal. That he loves it as much as he loves me, and that he enjoys being my Poppie. It is very easy for me to express my feelings in words. He struggles a little in this department as he feels if he says it, even once a month ago, that it is still true today. While I in no way have to wait a month to hear it, lol, I crave it often and much more after an intense session. I find once again, that communication is key. No matter how silly, or how embarrassed I feel, I know that I have to tell him what I need so that I can process all the emotions I am feeling. Poppie is more than happy to oblige.
Again, these are my experiences. Everyone is different. The best advice I could give is to listen to your heart and follow it. Tell your partner what you need, and if they are unable to provide it, sometimes you need to do self-care. Stay tuned in to your emotions and be kind to yourself.
Hope this helps